I know it’s so overdone around these parts to judge people on what books they read/like, but I can’t help it. The Alchemist? Really? You sure you want to list that? Sure I skimmed it to see what all the fuss was about, but who says it’s one of their top five? And The Kite Runner? Way to expand your horizons there to a book that everyone has read. I know I should be glad that people are reading, but I hate when someone thinks they’re out-pretentiousing me. As if.
It’s a fine balance. I judge the person who lists a Dan Brown book, the latest book to be made into a movie, or some ridiculous chick lit as a moron. I judge the person who lists some obscure ridiculous shit that only a lit professor understands as a pretentious douche. What does that say about me? I like people who are reasonably smart but don’t take themselves too damn seriously. -MATC
“The saying originated during the nineteenth century in the United States, where people wanting a physical fight would carry a chip of wood on their shoulder, daring others to knock it off.” (Wikipedia)
Excellent. We should follow suit. For those who don’t want a fight, there could be other accessories. If you wanted a free sample of cheese, for example, you could wear a toothpick on your shoulder. If you wanted a Kleenex, you could wear a booger on your shoulder.
That’s a much classier way to start a fight than just walking down the street hoping someone will make eye contact with you so you can beat them up. -MATC
to all the wrong people. In particular, the many, many mid-40s guys who apparently want to marry me. I’m guessing they do a search for 30 and up, see that I am gainfully employed (not a golddigger!) and bam, they start seeing picket fences and fresh squeezed orange juice.
One guy has sent me 4 emails today, with NO replies from me. This is why people are afraid of the internet, for good reason.
The bottom line is, I am highly unlikely to date a guy 45ish and over. He’d be in his 50s when our children are just toddling around. I just don’t want that for my life. Plus, he’ll die way before me.
God this is depressing.
What? You don’t want a second daddy? How could you NOT want that? Oh, wait… -MATC
“Raoul Felder, the Manhattan divorce lawyer, said that cases involving financiers always stack up as the economy starts to slip, because layoffs and shrinking bonuses place stress on relationships — and, he said, because “there aren’t funds or time for mistresses any more.”—
This one burned me up: “Dawn Spinner Davis, 26, a beauty writer, said the downward-trending graphs began to make sense when the man she married on Nov. 1, a 28-year-old private wealth manager, stopped playing golf, once his passion. “One of his best friends told me that my job is now to keep him calm and keep him from dying at the age of 35,” Ms. Davis said. “It’s not what I signed up for.”” Well then what the hell did you sign up for? In good times and Bergdorf allowances, then I’m out? Not that he’s probably much better. God, give me the strength not to wish horrible painful scourges of boils on all these shallow, disgusting people. -MATC
At a meeting in the Roosevelt Room with business leaders to discuss the economy, President Obama asked to make an unrelated comment — on the weather.
“My children’s school was canceled today, because of what? Some ice,” Obama said, and all at the table started laughing.
“As my children pointed out, in Chicago school is never canceled,” he continued. He said that in their old hometown, “you’d go outside for recess in weather like this. You wouldn’t even stay indoors.”
The President said he would have to bring “some flinty Chicago toughness” to Washington.
Asked if he was calling Washingtonians wimps, Obama responded: “I’m saying that when it comes to the weather, folks in Washington don’t seem to be able to handle things.”
Oh Obama. You’ve got a lot to learn about how people roll down in DC. I mean, you’re not wrong, but your criticism will fall on deaf ears. Because the thing is, it snows in DC EVERY YEAR. It isn’t Atlanta. And every year, people have the same surprised, panicked reaction. They’re like the goldfish who is surprised every time he sees the little castle. -MATC
“A friend is one to whom one may pour out the contents of one’s heart, chaff and grain together, knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away.”— Arabian Proverb (via meltinyourmouth)
it’s freezing out. single digits, negative digits, whatever. but honestly, sluts never get cold. even in this weather, they can wear leggings with skirts, or just skirts. and some revealing skimpy top. oh, and a pair of ugg boots. and they’re still not cold.